Point of No Return
by Athenaktt
Summary: COMPLETED!ShepWeir implied. During “Rising, part 1”. After being approached by Elizabeth to be part of the Atlantis team, John has a lot to think about. He decides to talk to Dr. Weir to better understand the situation and ease some concerns on his mind
1. Default Chapter

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Stargate: Atlantis. Never had and never will. sigh_

_**A/N:** This is just a ficlet that came to me when I was re-watching "Rising". _

_Thanks again Astrochick again for the thorough Beta-ing. ;) _

**Chapter 1**

"_And I think people who don't want to go through the Stargate are equally as whacked"_

The line kept repeating over and over in Major John Sheppard's head.

John was still trying to comprehend that an Ancient missile, which looked more like an airborne squid, had nearly blasted he and General Jack O'Neill out of the sky over the icy plains of Antarctica. Not to mention that he also discovered that he had some mutant Ancient gene, when he had sat on a funky looking recliner. He later found out that the chair apparently was used earlier by General O'Neill to destroy a Goa'uld fleet attacking earth. Now that John thought about it, he still wasn't even sure what a Goa'uld looked like.

When Doctor Elizabeth Weir approached him after the Ancient chair incident, he had no idea what the woman was going to say to him. He remembered she had a smile on her face, which was a good sign he assumed, but when she asked him if he wanted to be a member on her expedition team to the Pegasus Galaxy, John was confused and speechless. Then he remembered her being slightly embarrassed for being so forward with her invitation, and she started to apologize. John, still unable to comprehend that aliens actually existed, quickly told her that he'd think about it. His answer seemed to satisfy her, and she left him to speak to General O'Neill.

After his succinct conversation with General O'Neill, that one line the General said had stuck in his thoughts for the next few days. After much thought, he was back at the Antarctica outpost, and waiting for the elevator to reach the bottom of the ice cavern.

When he reached the bottom, the place was bustling with scientists much like the first time he was there. He saw Doctor Weir walking busily back and forth from scientist to scientist observing their work progress.

As if on cue, she looked up, saw John, and smiled. She raised her index finger up to tell him she would be with him in a minute. John nodded and stood uncomfortably as busy scientists made their way around him.

"Major Sheppard," Elizabeth said, "I'm so glad you decided to join this expedition. You don't know how happy you've made me." Elizabeth was trying to contain her excitement. She had been afraid that the Major would decline her invitation. If he hadn't, they would have lost a valuable source for finding more information about Ancient technology. But he was here now, and Elizabeth felt like a thrilled schoolgirl.

"Doctor Weir," John nodded, "I'm glad to be here, but to be honest. I still don't know what I'm doing here. I'm not even sure what _here_ is."

"You haven't been briefed?" Elizabeth asked.

"I've been briefed about the Stargate, SGC, ZPMs, Ancients, Goa'uld, aliens, and millions other stuff in the last few days, but it doesn't mean I _understood_ what I've heard."

"I think I know how you feel," Elizabeth said with an understanding smile. "I had the whole Stargate business sprung on me several months before. I didn't know if was a joke or not, until I got a signed note from the President stating this was _not_ a joke. Then I read through all the mission reports, and I kept thinking this is science fiction, but it wasn't, it was reality. After a while, everything starts to sink in. At least you hope it did."

"You read _all_ of the mission reports?" John asked.

"Yes."

"Oh, okay, just wondering. Must have been some interesting reading for you to sit and go through _all_ of them."

Elizabeth smiled. "Yes, they were very much in the can't-take-your-eyes-off type of reports." Elizabeth gestured John to follower her. "Well, right now everyone is basically gathering and preparing some more data, before we finally make our way to the SGC and to Atlantis." Just the mere thought of going to Atlantis was making Elizabeth bubble with excitement again.

"Our final destination," John added.

"Correct. Since you're here, I'll introduce you to some of the crew. You've met Doctor Beckett and Doctor Zelenka before." Carson looked up and gave a nervous smile before Doctor Zelenka told him to sit in the Ancient chair again. "This is Grodin, Dumais, Wagner, Peterson…" Elizabeth introduced name after name of scientists, and John just nodded and waved as he followed Elizabeth around. "…and you've met Doctor Rodney McKay."

"Major," Rodney said and continued to work on calculations on his laptop ignoring John's extended hand for a handshake. John tried to mask his ignored handshake by brushing his hand through his messy hair.

"Now if you don't mind, Major, please make yourself useful somewhere else. I'm trying to figure out the correct energy output to make a stabilized wormhole, so we can get to the Pegasus Galaxy in one piece," Rodney said as he typed on the keyboard.

John looked at Elizabeth confused.

"Just ignore him," she mouthed and led John to her office.

"Wait a minute, in one piece? What did he mean by in one piece?" John asked when they went into her office.

Elizabeth sat down behind a table, which became her makeshift desk and gestured for John to take a seat in front of her. "When you go through the event horizon of the stargate, it breaks down your body in to energy, and sends it through the wormhole. When the data reaches the stargate at the other end, it reads the energy signature, translates the data, and reconverts the object together to its original form."

"This was not in the briefings I had."

"Some people don't like to hear the technical details. It makes them more nervous."

"I wish I hadn't heard the details either," John said disconcerted. "Have you ever been through the stargate?"

"No, this will be my first time going through," Elizabeth confessed.

"Excited?" John asked.

"Can you tell?"

"Just a little."

"Aren't you?"

"I'm as excited as anyone going to a galaxy far, far away," John said.

"So," Elizabeth cleared throat and sat up straight, "I'm guessing you didn't come all the way down here to get acquainted with me. What can I help you with, Major?"

"I've been thinking…a lot about this mission," he began.

"You aren't going to back out on me, are you?" Elizabeth asked concerned at his possible answer.

"Oh no, no, not all," he assured, "I'm all for going to another galaxy and finding more ZPMs and whatnot. But by the looks of everyone around here, everyone is really dedicated, and I just wanted to let you know I would be as dedicated as everyone else under _your_ command."

Elizabeth gave a sigh of relieve. "I'm glad to hear that, Major. Yes, everyone is very dedicated. It's kind of hard not to be. We are going to another galaxy completely foreign to us, cut off from everything we know, and I have no doubt about your full dedication. But I think I know the main reason why you came all this way to talk to me."

John leaned back into his chair. "Actually, I was in the neighborhood, and thought I'd drop by to say hello."

"I've read your records," Elizabeth said, her fingers intertwined together on her table. "And I'm sure you know, so has Colonel Sumner." John let out a nervous sigh. "I'll tell you frankly. There have been concerns about your past insubordination, but I believe that, despite the fact that you defied direct orders, you had good reason for what you did."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"But," Elizabeth continued, "I will not tolerate 'good reason' as an excuse for defying orders." John was about to speak in his own defense, but Elizabeth raised her hand to stopped him. "I'm not saying that you will do this. I'm not saying that you won't. I just want you to keep in mind. Even though I'm _not_ military, I _am_ in charge of this expedition."

"You're the boss," John said.

"Good, I'm glad we've cleared that up." Elizabeth prepared to get up. "If you want to stay and look around that is fine with me, but if you'll be leaving, I'll see you in Colorado Springs."

"Doctor Weir!" A voice outside called for Elizabeth. Elizabeth excused herself and ran out her office, leaving John alone with his thoughts.

John had, in fact, come to Antarctica to better perceive Elizabeth's character. General O'Neill spoke highly of Doctor Weir, in his own way. From his short conversation with her, he could tell that she was well-prepared and organized, and definitely a diplomat. At least she didn't pass any judgement against him, even after reviewing his records. That was a good start, he thought. As for Colonel Sumner, John was going to have to work on his image there.

John finally got up and decided to leave. As he walked through the bustling outpost lab, John realized that he was about to pass the point of no return. He was committed, and in a week, he was probably never going to return to earth again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

John was back in an elevator heading deep underground, but this time he was deep under Cheyenne Mountain. He stood in the elevator watching the red digital number change each time it past another floor. Finally it blinked twenty-eight as it reached his destination.

At every turn and every corner, the halls were crowded with scientist and military personnel preparing and checking all the supplies that were needed for their indefinite mission. As John walked through the maze-like crowded hallways towards the gate room, he saw people he recognized from Antarctica and others that he had become acquainted with after spending some of his last days on earth at Stargate Command.

His last days on earth, for once the meaning were literal, and not the morbid thought of death.

Elizabeth was feeling butterflies in her stomach. She had been waiting for this day for months, and now the day was here. She watched her crew slowly gathering into the gate room. All these men and women all dedicated in pursuit of research, exploration, and hope of finding a better means in protecting earth.

Elizabeth let out a breath. She had been rehearsing in hear head what she was going to say to everyone before they embarked for Atlantis. She hoped her speech would ease everyone's mind more then it did her. She couldn't remember when she had been this nervous before. She figured she probably felt this way on her first diplomatic mission to a foreign country, so many years ago. But all her years of training would never be able to prepare her for a journey to another galaxy.

"Are we there yet?" General Jack O'Neill asked jokingly.

"We are just waiting on Doctor McKay," Elizabeth promptly replied.

"You sure you want to do this?" Jack asked.

"Sir, there is no turning back now. We are all committed."

"All right, I was just checking. Good luck."

Elizabeth looked at General O'Neill, and he nodded at her. She knew it was time. She nodded back and headed out of the control room.

As John reached the gate room entrance, he caught a glimpse of Doctor Weir come down the stairs from the control room. She managed to give him a smile as he walked by. With a quick nod to her, he headed into the gate room, which was slowly filling up with scientists, military personnel, and equipment.

Elizabeth stood outside of the gate room door for another moment to gather her thoughts one last time. Her eyes scanned the group of people assembling, and she saw Major Sheppard nodding to Colonel Marshall Sumner. This was it. She let out another deep breath and put on her jacket.

Elizabeth entered calling for everyone's attention and stood on the ramp. When she saw that she had everyone's attention, she took in another deep breath and began.

"All right here we go. We are about to try to make a connection. We have been unable to predict…"

As Elizabeth gave her speech, John could not help but admire what she was saying. He looked around at all the faces he would get to know over their indefinite time together. The scientists in general either looked excited or were unsuccessfully in hiding their fear or anxiety. While the military personnel, kept their stern indifferent façades. John returned his attention to Elizabeth.

"…I hope we will return one day having discovered a whole new realm for humanity to explore. But as all of you know, we may never be able to return home. I'd like to offer you one last chance to withdraw your participation."

John noticed the proud smile that came across Elizabeth's face when she saw the dedication and bravery of everyone on her team. When Elizabeth called for the dialing sequence to begin, John was starting to feel a bit nervous. The loud rumbling noise of the stargate spinning and locking was disconcerting to hear for the first time, especially when he felt like he was standing too close. Finally he heard the announcement for the eighth chevron locking and the loud _kawoosh_ of the wormhole being established. Applause broke out from the room, and Elizabeth's voice came over the intercom ordering to send the MALP.

As soon as Elizabeth announced that viability was established it was time to move out. John heard Colonel Sumner start to give orders for the first security team to proceed. Before the Colonel was about to go through the gate, John saw Elizabeth running up behind them saying they would go in together. John did not expect Elizabeth to stand up to an intimidating man like Colonel Sumner, but she did. John concluded he would definitely be looking forward to working with Doctor Elizabeth Weir.

It was finally his turn in front of the gate. This was his point of no return. John nervously looked at the rippling event horizon. He felt like he was going to walk into a swimming pool. John quickly pushed the morbid thought out of his mind, until he saw a young Marine Lieutenant look back at him seriously.

"What's it feel like?" John asked.

"Hurts like hell, sir." The young man replied in all seriousness, and suddenly excitedly jumped into the event horizon.

John made a face and instinctively held his breath, closed his eyes, and stepped through the gate.

When John reached the other side, he opened his eyes and let out a breath. He lifted his gun and looked around the large dark room slowly coming to life. He turned and looked back at the rippling gate he had just exited.

He had now passed the point of no return.

**Finis**


End file.
